Saturday, 5 October 2013
1. Discussing sexual issues over the kitchen table or on walks
2. Saying “I love you” on a daily basis
3. Lying in bed and sharing emotions once or twice a week; just sharing, no fi xing
4. Making one or two emotional or sexual requests of your partner
5. Talking about the value of both intimacy and eroticism in your relationship
B. Nondemand pleasuring:
1. Setting aside time for a sensual, non-genital pleasuring date
2. Trying a new sensual lotion to enhance pleasurable sensations
3. Spending time on the sofa “making out” and valuing that for itself.
4. For a couple who always do mutual, simultaneous touching, try taking turns
5. The woman setting the pace and sequence of the pleasuring scenario
C. Eroticism:
1. Starting a scenario in front of the fi replace and instead of going to the bedroom, playing out the scenario there
2. Trying one-way sex to orgasm with the giving partner enjoying without expecting anything back (perhaps at a diff erent time switching roles) 3. Experimenting with switching intercourse positions two or three times during an encounter 4. Each partner experimenting with introducing an external stimulus (R- or X-rated video, music, candles, reading a section of an erotic story or erotic scene from a novel) that your partner is receptive to 5. Expanding your sexual repertoire to enhance erotic fl ow so that you do not transition to intercourse until your partner has an orgasm and your arousal is at least an 8
D. Satisfaction:
1. Experimenting with three or four aft erplay scenarios and fi nd at least one that is special for you
2. Before a sexual encounter, talking to your partner about what you would like to try to enhance the experience
3. Listening to your partner’s feelings and requests; her pleasure will enhance your satisfaction
4. Planning a special date that integrates intimacy and eroticism
5. Planning a date aft er a sexual encounter that shows appreciation for your pleasure at being a sexual couple and reinforces your relationship bond
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